I’m planning to do things a little different this year as a fulltime stay-at-home mom of 2 with another baby boy on the way.
…my one goal is to take a peaceful yet, progressive approach on life. I’ll do this by listening more and taking action, being present and grateful, and scaling down my [yearly goals] to daily habits.
If you’re like me – at this point – I don’t want to create another vision board, list out any astronomical goals, or act like all my anxieties and issues from last year have magically disappeared in thin air. The last two and half years living through a pandemic have taught me many things – mainly, you should set reasonable expectations and tackle life day-by-day. It’s in our blood to want the very best for ourselves – I know. And while I think most people give themselves some grace at the end of the year when they don’t reach some of their goals, the pure anxiety and pressure centered around high performance all year-round can drive you mad in the meantime – it’s unrealistic.
Now, my goal is not to bash anyone who subscribes to this method of accomplishing your yearly goals. If vision boards work for you, then kudos to you and a successful year. All I’m saying is that it hasn’t worked for me and I’m thinking that others may feel the same. So, when something isn’t working, the best course of action is to change or tweak it so it does work. And, as a wife, a former corporate employee , and mom of 2 boys with another on the way, I’ve learned that evolving and adapting are some of the greatest skillsets you can have. You’ll always be able to progress in life despite variables that may change your plan – and you can believe that your plan will be altered at some point – if you strengthen those skillsets.
Goals are never-ending and always evolving, so this year I simply want to make progress. I know that if I push forward, whether I reach the end of my “yearly milestones” or not, I will truly be grateful and proud of myself. More importantly, I won’t be stressed and I’ll be more focused on the present moment.
So, what am I going to do differently this year?
We’re talking less, listening and learning more, and most of all…stepping.
Well first, I’m going to talk less and do more. I know this is a bit ironic considering that I am officially a blogger. I definitely intend to continue to share my journey with you but aside from this post, I hope to share more in the past-tense rather than the future-tense. I am guilty of constantly overwhelming my family and friends with my bright ideas, theories, and business plans but never quite making a move on any of them. Maybe its fear, maybe its procrastination, or maybe it’s the idea that if I tell someone about my plan I might feel more obligated to act. These are issues I may address in a separate blog post someday. Either way, none of that matters if I don’t take the first step. So, this year we’re taking first steps…and then second steps…and then third steps. We’re talking less, listening and learning more, and most of all…stepping.
Earlier, I mentioned the anxiety that comes with a vision board and the unreasonable list of goals everyone tends to make at the onset of a new year. Like, of course I want a mansion, a the latest G-Wagon, and a passive billion-dollar business to fund my future lavish lifestyle, private school for my kids, and exotic vacations. And, while I understand that visual manifestation is a thing, let’s be real. Aiming too high will only make you envious of what you don’t have. So, why would I want to spend a year working towards something that may simply be unattainable for right now or in the near future? Therefore, the next thing I’m doing different this year is enjoying and appreciating my current level in life . This is not to say I’ll get comfortable and complacent. Again, progress is key. But another major key is being present and enjoying the moment. Soaking in the lessons and honoring the little wins are so important. I don’t quite know the exact science or spiritual lesson behind it all but appreciating what you have and where you are simply affords you more in life. Put in another way, opportunities come to you and doors open when you are most grateful for what you’ve already received.
Now, as a new stay-at-home mom, this concept is very important to me. Nothing is more satisfying than the days where I’m able to witness my children’s growth in the moment, be present and supportive for my husband, and when I can honestly show up for myself – through journaling, meditating, reading, or working out – without feeling like there is some pending deadline or other obligation I should be attending. On the flip side, I can’t wait to buy a bigger house or my dream car. But again, my goal is to continue to make my current house a home and to take very good care of my current truck which I absolutely love. One day, both can become great investments for the next level. That day will come but I won’t dwell on it.
At this point, you’re probably thinking that I’m playing fast and loose with my goals for the year. After all, you are a high achiever who wants a net worth that matches your ego. I’ll be the first to say, there is nothing wrong with that. Most dormer corporate employee turned stay-at-home moms are. I’m joking, but a year of focusing on peace and gratitude doesn’t mean I have to sit out of the game. It just means I play it differently. So, the last thing I’m doing differently this year, is not only setting realistic goals but breaking them down into daily habits.
What do I mean by that? For example, I’ve taken up a new hobby day-trading. I hope to one day make very high earnings practicing this hobby but I’m definitely in the learning phases currently. Needless to say, I’ve set what I think is a reasonable monetary goal for the end of the year. I’ll probably surpass that goal ten-fold. I’ve decided that in order to reach that goal I’ll have to work toward making x-amount of dollars monthly, then weekly. But, in order to perform my weekly goal, I’ve included an extra step in my daily routine – researching trades on Sunday night and allotting 30 minutes to 1 hour (probably while I’m brewing and drinking my coffee in the morning) every day to manage and review my portfolio. My focus this year will not be on my end of the year monetary goal. To be honest, I only thought of the end of the year so I could dial my focus down to what I’ll do every day. 30 minutes to 1 hour a day is so much easier to think about and accomplish. Making it a habit keeps it from becoming an obligatory duty or deadline which means I still get to enjoy the present moments without the added pressure. I’m a soon to be mom of 3 so, the least amount of pressure and stress is preferred.
Sidebar – habit-forming is not a strength of mine. Building new habits definitely takes a little discipline and commitment. The one thing that helped me understand how to get past some of my mental blocks was reading the book, Atomic Habits by James Clear. If you haven’t read it, consider it a must read for your 2022 list of goals.
…my “goal” is less about the list and more about how I can reasonably and efficiently use my time day-to-day to make progress and enjoy life.
So, I’ve created several “goals” from day-trading to gardening to self-development – the list goes on. However, my “goal” is less about the list and more about how I can reasonably and efficiently use my time day-to-day to make progress and enjoy life. That is what matters most to me this year.
So, let’s recap. If you were to ask me, “Essence, what are your 2022 goals?”. I would say my one goal is to take a peaceful yet, progressive approach on life. I’ll do this by listening more and taking action, being present and grateful, and scaling down my “wants” or yearly goals to daily habits that will ensure I progress over time.
And who knows, this could all change by mid-year. But I feel like my plan is just firm enough to work but flexible enough to change if necessary. After all, evolving and adapting are 2 skillsets I’ll always continue to develop – so, I’ll consider this an exercise.
On a final note, If you’re a mom, a young professional, an entrepreneur, or just someone looking for another perspective, I hope this blog-post inspires and equips you with the tools to do the best you can. In this world ran by social-media platforms and life experts, it’s exhausting to think of what happiness or success looks like or means to you. I’m here to tell you, it looks like whatever you want to make it. So, you can choose to live vicariously through others, constantly envious and craving to acquire more before hardly consuming what you have. Or, you can choose happiness now. Success can be where you are now and later. Both are fluid and lay on a spectrum, so choose what’s best for you and your mental health.
I hope you have an amazing year! Here’s to “blind, furious optimism”!
Ess.
Life With Ess 